Laid Off: Single, 40, and Looking for Work in the Midwest
A special collab between Laid Off and The Purse!
A few months ago, I was introduced to
, who writes the . It’s a great weekly newsletter on money, motherhood, work, and relationships.When we connected, Lindsey told me that she was laid off from Martha Stewart a decade ago and, at the time, no one talked about layoffs. She said she felt so embarrassed, and is glad to see conversations around it being a bit more normalized.
Normalizing Hard Chats is something Lindsey is so good at, especially when it comes to money and all the tough bits and baggage that come along with it. That’s why I love her Home Economics series. (Fun fact: Lindsey was the founding editor of Refinery29’s Money Diaries.)
And that’s how this Laid Off x Home Economics collab came to life.
Lindsey interviewed a 40-year-old single woman who was laid off in December 2023, and she expanded her questionnaire to include some severance-related questions from me.
You can read it below.
Age: 40
Location: Large midwestern city
Relationship status: Single
About me: I’m a 40-year-old single woman living in the Midwest, where I grew up and where my family still lives. I have an active social life with family, friends, neighbors, volunteering, and going to events. I bought my first house two years ago, I’m getting into gardening, and I enjoy the occasional DIY home improvement project. I also like crafting, cooking, baking, reading, and watching TV. I have a rescue dog that I adopted during the pandemic. I was living alone, and I realized it was as good a time as any. Now, I can’t imagine home without her!
Income:
Your job title/salary: Dog mom, negative dollars. Before I got laid off, I worked in corporate communications. Right now, I’m looking for a director-level role, ideally with a salary of $170,000 to $200,000 annually.
Your monthly take-home pay (paycheck amount after taxes and other deductions): $0.
Unemployment income: Now that my severance has run out, I will be able to collect unemployment for six months at $914/week. Taxes will be withheld, so I don’t yet know the net amount.
Total monthly income: With unemployment, I’ll get around $3,600 a month. My monthly expenses are about $5,600, so I’ll have to cover the rest from my savings.
Account balances:
Checking account balance: $13,390
Savings account balance: $90,400 (2.0% APY)
High-yield savings account balance: N/A
Monthly contribution to savings account: $0
Retirement account(s) balance: My retirement is spread out over three accounts
IRA: $161,542 (rolled over from all the 401(k)s I’ve had throughout my career.)
Roth IRA: $71,762
Brokerage IRA: $28,572
Monthly contribution to retirement accounts: $0
Investment account balance: $6,075 in a “niblings” account. My sister has three kids (my niblings), and they live a few miles away, so I’m fortunate to be a part of their lives. I’m saving to take them each on a trip when they graduate high school.
Monthly contribution to investment accounts: $0
Total in checking, savings, and investment accounts: $371,741
Housing:
Size of your home: I live in a 1,300-square-foot, two-bed, one-bath house.
Mortgage: $2,411
Current home value: $346,000
Current mortgage balance: $273,690
Year you bought your home: 2022
Price you paid for your home: $309,000
Mortgage interest rate: 6.88%
How much was your down payment: $28,000
How long did it take you to save for the down payment? I got a really great corporate communications job in 2018 and was able to buy a condo in 2019. I put 4% down without help from my family. In 2022, I sold the condo and used the earnings to put a down payment on my house.
Did you have any family help buying your home? No, I was very fortunate to be able to finance it by myself. My parents did help pay for some of college, giving me an advantage early in my career.
Home taxes: $4,435/year
Home insurance: $2,249/year. I pay through my mortgage company, so it’s part of my house payments.
Electricity: $104
Water: $95 (bundled with trash)
Cell phone: $89
Internet: $65
Housekeeper: N/A
Gardener: N/A
Natural Gas: $109, which is a monthly average (winter bills would ruin me). It also includes a service package for major appliances.
Transportation:
Monthly car payment: $250. I have a 60-month loan that I’m 12 months into. Total loan was $12,000 at 7.4% interest. I got a really good trade-in value for my old car (which was paid off), so it helped me pay for a newer used car.
Car insurance payment: $525 twice a year, so it averages $87.50 per month. I got a discount because I use the same company for home insurance.
Gas: $40
Car maintenance: $50
Parking: $10, which is an estimate for occasionally using parking meters or parking ramps.
Monthly public transportation: N/A
Ride shares (Uber, taxi, etc.): N/A. I rarely use ride-share services.
Children:
Number of children and their ages: I don’t have kids. I realized in my early 30s that I didn’t truly want them. I haven’t been in a romantic relationship since 2018, and I am so happy without one! Nowadays, sure, a partner’s health insurance and income would be nice, but it’s not worth it to me to pursue that on top of a job search, which often feels like dating.
Debts:
Student loan total balance: $0. My parents helped me pay for part of college, and I also had federal loans upon graduating. The interest rate was reasonable, so I was able to pay them off a few years into my career.
Credit card balance (if you carry a balance month to month): I pay my balance off in full every month.
Food:
Groceries: $400. I love food and cooking. Because I’ve lived alone for so long, I’m really good at using leftovers and keeping my food waste low. I shop at a combination of my local co-op, Aldi, and a local “fancy” grocery store.
Dining out: $400. This ebbs and flows month to month, but my friends and I regularly like to go out for dinner every few weeks, so I’ll sometimes spend $100 in one night. And if it’s been a while, sometimes I’ll take myself out to dinner. Now that I’m unemployed, I find myself dining out for more lunches and coffees than I did when I had a job. I rarely order takeout or delivery, but sometimes I get pizza by the slice.
Socializing and Entertainment:
Subscriptions (streaming services, magazines, etc.): $50. This is a rough estimate, but it includes The New York Times, America’s Test Kitchen app, and Apple TV+. I’m lucky to be part of friends’ “households” (shhh don’t tell) for most streaming services.
Movies, concerts, other events: $50. This is an average that includes occasional concerts, plays, stand-up comedians, and movies. I have one very generous friend who will sometimes treat me to a ticket in exchange for taking a chance on some questionable comedy with them.
Entertaining and socializing other: $50. My friends usually get together for happy hour or dinner or at each other’s houses, so my restaurant budget is also my social budget.
Travel: Typically, I’d easily spend $10,000 on a couple of trips each year and not blink an eye. This year, I sold some stock I had so I could take a big international trip with my dad. It was a bucket list moment, and I’m so glad I had the opportunity. I spent about $7,000 total. I also did a trip to the mountains with friends (using airline miles and spending about $600) and a roadtrip with a friend ($400).
Miscellaneous:
Clothing: $80, secondhand when possible
Home supplies: $25
Exercise: I have a prepaid punch card (purchased in 2022) at a yoga studio, and I recently started pilates ($130/month for four classes). I’m recovering from an injury and these are essential. Also, I walk my dog multiple times daily for both our sanities.
Personal and self-care (haircuts, manicures, massages, etc.): $50/month on average for haircuts and pedicures a few times a year.
Pet expenses: $100/month on average. Biggest costs are the annual vet check up and her prescriptions for preventive meds. I have a dog sitter stay with her when I’m out of town, which is usually $50 per day but well worth it because they love each other.
Pet insurance: N/A
Donations: $100 on average. I have monthly sustaining gifts for organizations I believe in supporting including abortion access, public radio/journalism, and trans rights.
Tithing: N/A
Financial advisor: $800/year
Events (birthday parties, etc.): Mostly rounds up in my restaurant/entertainment money. I spend $50 per nibling (x3) for their birthday and winter holiday gifts.
Insurance:
Life insurance: $0
Health insurance: $400 for medical and $25 for dental. I used our state health care marketplace, but I don’t qualify for assistance because of the severance income I made this year. Maybe next year? IDK. Health insurance is hard to navigate.
Total monthly spending (includes annual expenses divided by 12, but does not include travel): $5,619.25
Tell us more:
What are your top financial priorities?
Securing full-time employment in the next few months! After that, catching up on the retirement contributions I missed since losing my job, continuing to build up the niblings fund, and saving for some larger house projects.
How do you feel about your current financial situation?
Optimistic and privileged with a low hum of freaked out. When I was laid off in December 2023, I got six months severance (about $80,000 paid out in biweekly increments). I had also found a short-term contract job and earned about $5,000. Then I landed a full-time job in June, making more money than my previous job. The company was a growing start-up with a very fast-paced culture. I quickly realized it was not a good fit, and my mental health was really suffering. After three months, I was prepared to have a hard conversation with my manager and even contemplated quitting, but then the company let me go with two-months severance (about $23,000). I feel very fortunate about how things ended.I wanted to explain it here because “rebound” jobs happen. There can be a lot of shame associated with being unemployed, but also shame in realizing a new job isn’t what you expected it to be.
I feel very lucky to have a modest lifestyle, some emergency savings, and some flexibility when it comes to work. I have a lot of marketing/communications generalist skills, so I could take contract work if I can’t find full-time work.
What are your money stressors?
The job market. The interest rate on my mortgage—I wonder if I will ever be able to refinance, and if it will even be worth it. I worry about what I would do if I was faced with an emergency and I couldn’t work. I think about taking care of my parents, who are both baby boomers. They are divorced and have diametrically opposed POVs on money.
Do you expect to receive (or have you received) an inheritance from a family member?
I don’t expect to receive anything. I’m planning for my own future, and I have told my parents to not save anything for me and instead take care of themselves.
Do you receive any financial support from your family?
I don’t receive anything from my parents, and I haven’t since I graduated college. They did help pay for part of college and also took out a loan to finance for some of college. Both my dad and I took on the loan repayment and have since paid it all off.
Do you financially support any family members beyond yourself and your nuclear family?
No, I don’t support anyone else. I may have to support one or both of my parents in the future, but I’m not sure what that will look like.
How does being single impact how you manage your money?
I love being in control of my money and my household. I know it’s not easy for some of my married friends because of <see a lot of The Purse archives>. If I were to enter a relationship or marriage, I would approach it with clear eyes and protect what I’ve earned, just in case.
What is one financial goal(s) you still want to achieve?
I would like to refinance my house in order to pay it off sooner than 2054 (lol), but I’m waiting until interest rates go down.
What do you regret spending your money on the most?
When I was in my first job, I leased a brand-new car when I didn’t really need to. Not a smart move. I commuted by bus, so it sat parked most of the time! It was $325/month, which was a quarter of my take-home pay each month.
What is one thing you spend money on that makes your life better?
Food definitely makes my life better! I love to cook and weirdly enjoy grocery shopping. And I like supporting local restaurants and coffee shops.
What is one thing you spend money on that drives you crazy?
Health insurance! I have it so the care I need is less expensive, yet I still get a bill when I see the doctor. It makes no sense.
Is there anything else you would like to add?
I have complicated feelings about being unemployed.During the day, I have some sort of routine of “desk time” when I’m researching and applying for jobs, following up on applications, networking virtually and in-person, and working on building and maintaining my skills. I do this on the weekends, too, sometimes, because the days all feel the same.
Weekdays sometimes feel isolating because my friends are all at work. My phone is my constant companion, and I play every game and listen to every podcast and read every Substack. I doomscroll LinkedIn and think about how broken the interview system is, and how AI is preventing good candidates’ résumés from being seen by recruiters, and how work has become such a big part of our identities.
There are times when I just stare out the window because I feel an overwhelming sense of being stuck. I worry that I won’t find work and will have to make tough decisions. I’m working on managing these catastrophizing thoughts, especially about my mortgage. I could get a roommate or sell the house and move in with friends temporarily. I could get a part-time job.
I’m nervous about planning any trips because I don’t yet have a steady income. I’m hesitant to make too many plans with friends because it can get expensive, fast. I’m nervous about needing my emergency fund to cover my expenses or <knock on wood> pay for something urgent like a house repair or medical bill.
However!!! I get to enjoy this in-between time, too. I volunteer at a food shelf. I’m around to help a neighbor or my family. I can run errands when most people are at work!
I remind myself to focus on finding a job that fits into my life. At the same time, I’m figuring out what IS my life, because there’s a lot more of it these days without work!
Additional questions from :
How much did you get in severance?
I got six months of severance from the corporate job, and then two months from the start-up job.
Did you have to sign an NDA to receive it?
Yes to both.
Were you expecting this amount, or was it lower or higher than you hoped for?
The corporate company published severance benefits in our employee handbook, so I was somewhat familiar with how it would work (though at the time, the layoff itself came as a shock!). I got six months because of my level of seniority, but I know the other colleagues at lower levels received much less (like eight weeks).
Did you get any other benefits, like extended health insurance or other forms of payment?
At both jobs, I had employer-sponsored benefits for one month after my layoff.
After the corporate job layoff, I was paired with a career coach who taught me the basics of how to get started with networking and revising my résumé.
And in a stroke of great fortune, I received a bonus from the company a few months later (in the cycle when all company bonuses were distributed). I figured it was because I worked for most of the year in 2023, but it was still a surprise. It went right into savings.
If yes, why do you think that is?
I was working at an established corporation, so layoffs were the norm, unfortunately. It makes sense that they had a pretty rote process of doing them.
Did you negotiate your severance? If yes, how did that go? If no, can you elaborate on why you didn’t?
I didn’t negotiate the money because I felt like it was a very good deal. At the corporate job, I tried to negotiate longer health insurance coverage, but I got a hard no. At the startup, I just wanted to be done.
How did you spend your severance? Can you break down each cost?
Before the layoff, I had a spreadsheet with my approximate monthly budget, so I knew how much I was spending and saving each month. I reduced some of my donations and subscriptions, but I was already living pretty frugally, so I was able to build up my savings in 2024. Considering how unusual the year was for me, I’m grateful to be in this position going into 2025.
If you liked today’s issue, you’ll love The Purse.
What did you think of today’s issue? Who else would you like to see a Laid Off collab with?
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Wow. You are really in a great financial place at 40 despite layoffs. Impressive. I'm 50 and dream of owning a home. Also it always shocks me that even a startup gave 2 months severance and the billion dollar agency I worked for gave us 2 weeks. And last startup that laid me off gave nothing.
Interesting article and especially a breakdown of expenses and income. It helps to put my own situation in context
Re: “ Savings account balance: $90,400 (2.0% APY)”. That’s a a lot of money in such a small APY. You can get 5% at UFB Direct or Openbank by Santander.