Laid Off: While Chronically Ill

"I can't care that much about work. It almost killed me, and I wish with every fiber of my being that that was an exaggeration."

Destiny Gayz, 31, worked as a Universal Outreach Coordinator supporting the contact center efforts for Philadelphia nonprofit Benefits Data Trust.

In August of 2024, the nonprofit laid off all of its 273 employees, including Destiny.

Benefits Data Trust made headlines when it suddenly closed down this year, especially since Mackenzie Scott (the ex-wife of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos) had donated $20 million to the nonprofit.

The shock around the collapse of Benefits Data Trust has even sparked some spicy reddit threads.

Destiny said the nonprofit used the phrase “a perfect storm” to categorize what happened.

“Mismanagement of funds, taking big risks after receiving a big donation from Mackenzie Scott, refusing to see the writing on the wall and adapt to ‘post-Covid’ funding fall off,” Destiny said, when asked what reasoning they gave for laying them off.

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What was the energy like the day of layoffs before you learned of the news?

The week before the closure was announced, the board fired our CEO and appointed the CFO to the role of acting CEO, so the vibes were definitely a little weird. It was the same weird that we had gotten used to as a company, so we continued with our meetings and check-ins.

Then the All-Staff invite dropped at around 3:45pm, and all that "new normal" we had gotten used to shattered.

How did they handle layoffs?

We received an invite at ~3:45pm to an all-staff MS Teams meeting happening at 4:45pm. I was in the middle of doing a time-management training refresher for my team. They couldn't get the microphones or cameras to work for the founder and some board members who were meant to tell us that everything was falling apart. We were given 60 days notice and told the WARN letter and further details would be in our emails. The meeting ended after 10 minutes.

Things were kept to a very small group of people, with most managers seemingly not finding out until within the hour that the board and chiefs told all of us. Barely enough time to brace for impact themselves, let alone do anything to prepare their teams.

They didn't even tell the 8+ states and multiple other partners we work with, some of whom ended up finding out the news through a leaked release to the Philadelphia Inquirer or (in the worst case) via social media posts. We were a non-profit valued at around $40 million in 2021. Here we are, 3 years later and hundreds of people without jobs.

What was it like for some of your peers to have to learn they lost their job through a news headline or social media post?

I haven't heard directly from someone who learned they lost their job through the news or social media. It's fully possible, though, as a news article with leaked information about the shutdown was published right after the meeting ended. I know for certain that some of our partners and funders found out that way. It did a lot of damage to those relationships, leaving a lot of important and helpful organizations confused and without the lifeline we once provided for them. 

What did you do about health insurance?

I am on the Medicaid for Workers with Disabilities program. I will be doing odd jobs to maintain that assistance, thankfully.

What was your greatest financial concern with the sudden loss of income?

If I don't have a new job by November, I won't be able to renew my lease. The financial cost of moving is already so much when you can plan for it, let alone this. Adding to the weight of that is my health and disability status. It's a very, very heavy thing to carry right now.

Can you share an update on how it's been going with doing odd jobs to maintain your health insurance?

I am very lucky in that I found a connection to set up a weekly house cleaning gig. It's enough to keep my insurance, and I have some more solid job leads that seem to be shaking out. 

Did they offer severance?

Explicitly stated no severance pay would be offered. No PTO payouts, other employee benefits (such as therapy sessions through Tava Health) were shut off early.

What was the first thing you did after receiving the news?

I was in shock, like the actual medical definition of that. I spoke with coworkers for a little bit after, then my aunt. I went on auto-pilot to the pharmacy, and I think I made buttered noodles for dinner? There was a lot of crying throughout that, and I leveraged some TIPP skills from DBT when the panic attack properly hit. I shoved a bag of frozen peas onto my face, which shocks the system and helps break a spiral.

How does the experience of being laid off differ for those with a chronic illness or disability? 

When you're chronically ill or disabled, the bare minimum tasks in a day - feeding yourself, getting dressed, getting out of bed even - already takes more energy than the average person needs to expend, and adding the need to now hunt for jobs and all the prep that goes into that adventure is... heavy.

Stress has been shown to exacerbate symptoms for many illnesses (for example, I have hyperadrenergic POTS, which is triggered by spikes in adrenaline), and I can't think of many more stressful experiences than being laid off in this economy. With companies pushing for return to office and the prevalence of COVID coupled with absence of safety measures, for immunocompromised people like myself, we're making hard choices about our health or finances.

What are some things you look for in a job description or during the interview process that signal that a workplace cares about their employees with a chronic illness or disability?

First and foremost, I look for remote-first environments where either remote work is all they do or there's the option to be fully remote or hybrid. This creates so much flexibility and space for people who would struggle with the commuting aspect. From there, transparency around compensation and benefits is important. How many PTO days do they give? Are they separated by sick days and vacation days, or all in one bucket? Do they mention other types of leave? What health insurance or wellness benefits do they provide? Is the salary a living wage? Is the salary balanced to the workload of the role?

After that, it's deep diving into company values. While these aren't always a true indicator of a company's actual culture in practice, I have seen a few places explicitly put work-life balance or mental wellness as company values. That made me feel seen and excited to explore the rest of the company! 

What resources or communities have you found to be the most helpful post-layoff? 

Previous staff created a separate Slack for us to chat and organize our thoughts and just vent. It's been cathartic and a great networking resource as well. We have a LinkedIn group for BDT Alumni, a great space for sharing job leads and offers of professional connection. On a more personal level, some of my direct peers made a Discord server for us to chat, another way to keep connected and grounded.

Outside of things directly related to work, I've been leaning heavily on my friend group, mental health support from my excellent doctor, and cultivating my social media to be more positive and supportive. I really like Self-Care Rainbow and Wondermind for dropping mental health focused newsletters that I always find helpful.

Where were you when you found out?

I work from home, alone. Thank goodness for my cat!

Did you see it coming?

There have been rolling layoffs for the last few years, with a few people here and there being let go. There were no indicators that we were in this dire of straits, though. Just a few days before, our NC partners were pushing for an updated client outreach letter. We were planning out end of year celebrations on my team, not anything remotely like this.

Who was the first person you told after getting laid off?

I spoke with coworkers for a good while immediately after, but the first person outside of that I called was my Aunt Debbie. I started sobbing, barely getting through it. She lives 3 hours away and recently lost her leg, so there was no way for us to actually see each other in person just yet, and it was really hard to have that convo over the phone.

Do you have a group chat with your former coworkers?

I have a few with different groups of them! My favorite named one is "The Gays Are Calling From Inside the House."

Has being laid off changed how you view your relationship to work?

Yes, absolutely. I gave so much of my time, mental health, physical energy, emotional labor, so much of myself to BDT because I firmly, wholeheartedly believed in the mission and the impact we were having. I can't do that for another organization. I can't care that much about work. It almost killed me, and I wish with every fiber of my being that that was an exaggeration. I refuse to allow work to become such an integral piece of my identity ever again.

What advice would you give someone who has just been laid off?

It sounds so cliché, and it's the truth: feel your feelings. There's going to be a range of them, the full spectrum of grief. If you try to push those feelings to the side, you'll freeze or they'll eat you from the inside out. Feel them. Cry, scream, throw something. Feel them, and then act. You'll make it.

What's something nice a person can do when their friend or peer gets laid off?

Getting me out of the house, offering to help with chores or keeping me company while I do them, running errands together, all of those were huge. Offering resume and cover letter support, sending good articles, and giving practical and realistic positive support are also excellent when I moved into the "take action" phase.

What do you wish people would stop saying or doing after someone gets laid off?

"How could you have fallen for their BS/believed their lies?" "How did you miss the writing on the wall?" "Every place is awful just like this."

What's something cool you've worked on / are working on since the layoff? Share something you're proud of.

I am a big time believer in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and the skills I learned through it have helped keep me sane during this process. Therapy isn't accessible to everyone, so I pulled together resources on the Radical Acceptance skill (which has been the biggest help) into graphics to share with my network. Peep them here if you'd like.

Anything else you'd like to share?

I can't oversell the importance of community support when facing something this unsettling. Leaning on your friends, family, and broader community can bring connections and bright spots that can help when things get hard to bear. A clothing swap, the free-your-stuff groups on Facebook, lots of resources exist that can smooth some of the pain points. It's not a weakness to lean into this support; it's being human.

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