Laid Off: Enablement Manager at Etsy

And how a formal ADHD diagnosis shed new light on career lows.

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In today’s issue, I talk to a former Enablement Manager at Etsy about the ominous all-hands meeting, being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, and why you should send yourself recovery info for your password manager before you’re locked out of your work computer.

In December 2023, Etsy laid off 11% of its workforce, or about 225 employees.

Anna Victoria, 33, was among them.

She said the reason they gave for the layoffs was to make the company more “lean” and “optimized.” On whether she believed them, she says, “lol no.”

Anna had worked at Etsy for eight years and survived two previous rounds of layoffs. She said the sudden all-hands calendar invite was the first real sign something was coming.

When Anna got the calendar invite, she went to work at a coworker’s apartment to anxiously bide the time and watch the meeting together. During the all-hands, they found out that the company would send out two emails immediately afterward, one indicating you were safe and the other that you were laid off.

Her coworker was safe. She was not. “They started to cry when they saw who my email was from.”

Anna also talks about how her recent ADHD diagnosis has shifted her perspective around the corporate world and her relationship to work.

“I finally had the terminology to understand what was going on, and it wasn’t because I was innately bad, stupid, and hopeless,” she said. “Harboring those feelings about myself and trying to hide from everyone, including my therapist, only intensified my symptoms. Simply knowing the root of it all was a huge relief and gave me a newfound sense of control.”

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The all-hands meeting has almost become synonymous with bad news and layoffs. What was the vibe like?

Having made it through two rounds of layoffs at Etsy in 2017, I assumed the worst as soon as I saw the cryptic calendar invitation. The company sent automated text messages to employee phones about the mandatory meeting, requiring us to confirm attendance. Even people on leave were required to RVSP and attend if possible. And when I viewed HRBP calendars, I saw that the company-wide meeting was followed by clusters of private 15-minute meetings, which was another clear sign.

Slack DMs amongst my teammates were panicky, and texts with my friends were filled with dread and denial. To cope, I went to a friend’s apartment to agonize and watch the virtual meeting together. In the meeting we were informed that there would be two emails to immediately follow: if the email was from Person A, you were safe. If the email was from Person B, you were laid off. My friend’s job was safe, and they started to cry when they saw who my email was from. I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. I was prepared for the possibility, but it was still such a bizarre and illuminating experience.

Did your company give employees an opportunity to ask questions in the all-hands?

No, the meeting was a streamed live video announcement.

Another common layoff experience: being swiftly locked out of your work computer. Did you scramble to save your work and contacts?

My Slack was deactivated within minutes, before which I did manage to inform my team that I was gone and see their reactions. Otherwise, I was given four hours between the layoff announcement and my off-boarding meeting with HR, and then my computer was locked. I used that time to send a goodbye email to my org and email myself a bunch of important docs, but there was so much work that just didn’t come to mind to save. Only when I started updating my resume did I start wishing I had metrics docs, peer feedback, project summaries, and slide decks to reference.

I was most grateful that I knew to send myself recovery info to switch my company-provided 1Password account to a personal one. Over my eight years at Etsy, I had admittedly gotten lazy about the divide between work and personal, and all of my secure information was saved there. I did hear from other laid off colleagues who had not thought to take this step, so I know for sure that losing access to my 1Password account would have been a complete headache. Take this as your sign!

You mentioned that you were finally diagnosed with ADHD at 31. How did that knowledge reframe your relationship with work?

Getting a formal diagnosis was so informative for me as I looked back on my career lows. I think most people working in corporate/tech settings can relate to things like procrastination, having an overwhelming number of tabs open, having difficulty prioritizing, and the torment of back-to-back meetings with no time for pre-reads, follow-ups, or doing actual work. These are fairly universal experiences, but when I talked to my friends and coworkers, I kept a lot to myself because I could tell that my situation was particularly severe and dysfunctional.

At my lowest points, I’d abandon task management tools and spend hours working on things that had little impact. I really needed to people-please and would agree to an unreasonable amount of work that I couldn’t possibly complete. I had absolutely no sense of time and would show up to meetings late. I’d get derailed by non-urgent Slack pings and emails and avoid responding to important ones. I watched deadlines approach with fear, missing or rescheduling them and hoping no one noticed. I’d wait until my husband went to sleep and work until 4am in absolute panic. And on the rare day that my calendar was wide open, I’d still manage to accomplish absolutely nothing despite knowing exactly what I needed to do. I was stressing about work after I closed my laptop and as soon as I opened my eyes in the morning.

Once I had the tools I needed through the support of a therapist and psychiatrist, I was able to talk to my manager and closest teammates about my diagnosis. I was no longer hiding, and it was empowering to take responsibility for the ways my work had suffered at points, and to share how I planned to move forward. I joined an Employee Resource Group where I connected with dozens of coworkers — many of whom were successful and doing very cool jobs — who shared this experience and offered resources and advice. I’m very fortunate to have had a supportive work environment and company culture to be able to have these conversations. Most significantly, I was able to start shedding the deep shame and low self-esteem I’d lived with since childhood. This is actually an important part treatment for adults with ADHD.

I finally had the terminology to understand what was going on, and it wasn’t because I was innately bad, stupid, and hopeless. Harboring those feelings about myself and trying to hide from everyone (including my therapist) only intensified my symptoms. Simply knowing the root of it all was a huge relief and gave me a newfound sense of control.

Can you describe your journey to your ADHD diagnosis? Why do you think it came later in life?

As it was for so many people, the pandemic was a major factor. The change to working from home, the absence of social life, and the prolonged stress created conditions that exacerbated my symptoms. My old coping mechanisms were no longer working, and I just couldn’t fake it anymore. It didn’t just impact my work; my personal life started to suffer. Up to that point, I was accustomed to compensating for my difficulties in a school or work setting, but my relationships had always been something I was good at.

After COVID I was suddenly forgetful and avoidant and disorganized in every aspect of my life, and my then-boyfriend was growing concerned. After two years it reached a point where we both needed to know why I was struggling so much. From what I’ve read, girls are less likely to be hyperactive and disruptive to others, instead having symptoms like constant daydreaming and difficulty listening. Due to socialization and expectations from adults, girls tend to compensate for their symptoms earlier in life, which I certainly did. That set me up for only realizing I needed help when my day to day life felt truly unbearable.

You said you were able to get to know yourself better without the demand of a full-time job.

I think this would be true for most people, if they could exist without needing to make money to survive. I’m fortunate to have a husband who is employed and encouraged me to take a break after the layoff. Instead of my life taking place on the edges of my workday, I was able to actually exist and follow my interests full time. I’m a photographer and writer, and I love to cook. During my time off before I started the job search, when I got a spark of creative energy and inspiration, I could follow it.

I could write a poem at 11am. I finally had the energy to read books. I was no longer cooking during meetings. I even had time to be bored! It really rewired my brain for the better, and many of my friends noted that I was more present, relaxed, and grounded.

Do you have any tips for people with ADHD also on the job hunt?

The benefit of not having a regular work schedule may mean you can find a window of time in your day that truly works for you to focus and send in applications. If that’s after lunch, or after it gets dark outside, take advantage of that window and set your schedule up around it. I recommend setting a reasonable (seriously, be honest) weekly or monthly goal for how many jobs you can apply to, and not necessarily forcing yourself to hit a goal every single day. This allows for flexibility and gives you more opportunities to make up for time you may spend in other (still valuable!) ways.

Get serious about tracking the jobs you do apply to. I use a Notion board to track my job applications, including any referrals or notes about the job, and attaching cover letters and resumes. I’m admittedly not perfect with any tool, but I would be completely lost without this so I really aim to have discipline with it. Finally, I would say it’s important to find a way to move your body and fight to keep your internal dialogue as kind as possible; negative thoughts often come with the condition and also need to be managed.

Just like anything else, ADHD can be worsened by stressful conditions like not having a job, and this can lead to dysfunctional behavior, creating a cycle that is hard to break out of. For folks who aren’t able to access certain resources like therapy or medication, this may mean looking for alternatives, and leaning on online resources and online communities for support.

Are there any resources or communities for people with ADHD that you've found helpful post-layoff?

Some of the most helpful resources for me personally have been medical studies. I really appreciate being able to take a step out of my immediate experience and read about the facts about how my condition affects my brain. It’s oddly comforting.

Otherwise, I definitely enjoy the occasional informative or validating Instagram posts, YouTube videos, and Reddit communities, but I tend to be wary when taking them to heart or recommending them without having done more research into the source. If anyone reading this has recommendations they want to share, please do!

You said your ADHD diagnosis makes you feel hesitant to truly try to run a business full time and be your own boss.

As a photographer, I have an opportunity to really dive in and make photography my full time job. I currently only take photo jobs that I really am interested in, so it’s still very much my hobby and an art practice for me. I have friends who are full-time photographers, and I’ve seen what it takes to run a business. It’s a lot, and it can be non-stop. It requires a lot of organization, consistency, and self-direction, which are areas I’ve struggled with in my life. I’d say at this point in time, I don’t have the confidence required to pull it off. Maybe that will change at some point.

How do you think your diagnosis will change how you approach work once you enter back into the corporate world?

I’m genuinely excited to hop back into a full-time job with my new depth of self-understanding and the tools I’ve integrated in to my life. I don’t expect to be an entirely changed person with zero struggles at work, but I will come into my next role with a solid sense of what I’m capable of, and how to ensure that I set myself up for success.

Anna is open to work in employee onboarding, training development, content writing, and communications. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.

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More from the Laid Off universe…

• The second issue of the Trend Report dropped last month. People reported being laid off while dropping their husband off at their vasectomy, at Disneyland, while meeting their team for the first time in San Francisco, on their first day back from maternity leave, at their grandmother’s house during a funeral, and in the bathroom finishing a pregnancy test.

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