Laid Off: A Burnt Out Newsletter Editor

"The constant threat of losing your job or dealing with survival guilt after a round of company wide layoffs can't be understated."

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In today’s issue, I talk to Marilyn La Jeunesse, the former newsletter editor at a media company. This was her third layoff. We talk about mental health: the effects from the sudden loss of your job and resources she wish were made available to laid off workers.

Marilyn La Jeunesse, 30, was laid off from her newsletter editor position in January of last year. This was her third layoff from the media industry over eight years.

She had a midday meeting on her calendar that her boss had moved from the week prior. She saw it coming — based on her performance review feedback and the growing tension between her and her manager.

Marilyn had been wanting to quit due to differences in strategy and management for a few months, and she’d decided she would leave after her wedding.

The company said they were deprioritizing their newsletter efforts, but Marilyn didn’t believe them. They had invested a lot of resources into the program and, shortly after she was laid off, they launched an entirely new newsletter.

“I cried to my husband that I wanted to be the one to break up with them and I felt they'd taken that opportunity away from me,” she said. “Then I had to muster up the energy to go to my bridal appointment. I'm pretty sure I ended that day in the bathroom scrolling on TikTok.”

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Where were you when you found out?

My home office. It happened right before my bridal alteration appointment, so it kinda put a damper on the whole experience.

What did you do about health insurance?

My husband and I weren't married yet, so we had to register for a domestic partnership so his company could onboard me to his insurance. It's seriously the only reason I'm able to freelance with a little less stress.

Did your company provide any mental health resources for employees laid off?

No. And I was honestly pretty surprised given the emphasis the company seemed to place on mental well-being.

Did you see it coming?

Absolutely. In my opinion, there was no flexibility in providing constructive criticism of the company goals and management decisions. Despite leading several projects, including a complete overhaul of the newsletter strategy and its content, I was always being asked to do more. It felt like nothing was ever good enough.

Who was the first person you told after getting laid off?

My husband was the first person, but we'd sort of already decided I was going to leave the job after the wedding considering the toll it was taking on my mental health. After that I think it was a few angry voice notes to friends venting about the situation, because I loved the work I was doing.

How did the layoff affect your mental health?

I've spent the better part of the last year trying to recover from the emotional and physical burnout I had from that job. I had so much anger being made to feel small and unknowledgeable at a job I thought I was good at and going to love.

As someone in the media industry, you probably know a lot of folks who have been laid off over the years.

Every single media colleague I talk to is burned out. It doesn't matter if they work in commerce or beauty or news. Every single person is being asked to work three or four jobs for the price of one. Media companies know they're replaceable and that stress takes a toll on people. The constant threat of losing your job or dealing with survival guilt after a round of company wide layoffs can't be understated. You're almost always offered a small severance package, but it never comes with mental health resources. There's not a pamphlet on what to do next or information on when and how to file for unemployment.

I entered a pretty deep depression after my last layoff because I felt totally and utterly worthless. The way things were handled completely destroyed my sense of self-worth, and I've spent months trying to get that back. Ultimately, these companies need to stop treating their employees as cogs in a machine and, instead, invest in long-term relationships with these journalists. Invest in their mental health – if you are going to lay people off, provide three months of free counseling or resources to free therapy. I've also noticed that, when layoffs do happen, it's usually POC who go first. It might not be intentional (and I'd like to believe that it's not) but because many of us don't have legacy connections and are just getting our foot in the door, the "last one in, first one out" policy means most of us are the first cut. That can significantly impact the way newsrooms are run and diminishes the DEI efforts so many of these companies have attempted to put in place (whether or not these have actually been effective is a whole different story).

What mental health resources do you think companies should provide employees with in the event of a layoff?

In an ideal world, free counseling or a set amount of therapy sessions to be used at their leisure. In a more realistic scenario, I think there should be pamphlets that cover burnout and depression symptoms, what to do after a layoff, and how to reach out should you need help. It's the whole idea of "you lost your job, sorry and good luck" that can really destroy you, especially if you don't have the industry connections to bounce back or the emotional support you need to grieve the loss. I'm the first in my family to have a white collar job, so being laid off was not something anyone had ever had any experience with or could even guide me through. I missed out on weeks of unemployment the first time because I didn't understand how it worked or what to do next. More clarity could at least make one of the most painful moments in your life a little easier.

On that note, Mark Zuckerberg recently wrote an internal memo stating that Meta planned to lay off the "lowest performers." When I read that, I worried about how that would affect the self-worth of those impacted. Curious if you have any strong feelings about this.

Absolutely. First of all, grading performances is so subjective and can really damage your self-worth, especially if you are trying your hardest, but your manager disagrees. Every single person has a different way of working and a different definition of success. On top of that, external influences like family, financial, or mental health issues might negatively impact someone's performance, and we never give people any leeway to not be perfect at work. You always have to be on. You always have to be meeting the mission. You always have to be making profit for the company. Even if you've done all that, despite whatever is happening when you're not at work, you could get an average or below-average performance review that will absolutely shatter you. Even though you've tried your best, your best isn't good enough. That will never not hurt.

What have you been up to post-layoff? What have you found best protects your mental wellbeing and sense of self-worth?

I've been full-time freelance for the last year now. I love that I have the freedom to write for tons of different outlets and get to interview and work on stories that mean the world to me. I've also been able to dedicate more time to my childhood dream of becoming an author.

I've finally invested time into myself and learned to listen to my body and mind to know when I'm going to be productive and when I'm in desperate need of a rot day. Sometimes it means starting my day super slow, going to pilates, and watching TV before even looking at my email. There was one week last year that I didn't work at all. I knew I wasn't going to be productive and, knowing that, I rested and restored my cup. I came back that next week with so much more energy and I felt really good about everything I achieved. When you work a standard 9-5 job, it doesn't allow you to be your best, healthiest self. Speaking of, I think we should all work three to four days a week at most. We weren't born to meet company quotas. That is not the point of life.

My last thoughts: Getting laid off can feel like your entire world is shattering. Colleges prep you to get a job, but never what to do if you lose it. If you've placed your entire self-worth into your job, getting laid off will absolutely destroy you. I recommend anyone who lives and breathes their job to remember that there's more than that to life. Your job will never love you back. And, unless you're working for yourself, all that overtime is just not worth it. Ever. Go be with your friends and family. Go take a salsa class. Make art. Do something that gives meaning to your life. What's the point of earning a living if you aren't actually living?

Marilyn is open to article commissions and social media contract positions. You can reach her on Instagram.

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More from the Laid Off universe…

• Laid Off Pen Pals is coming back soon. Fill out this form if you’re interested in joining the next class.

• Check out recent Trend Report coverage: People reported being laid off in a glass office where everyone could see what was happening, while getting ready to leave for their bachelorette party, on leave with a newborn, at Starbucks on speaker, and at their kid’s school for the Halloween costume strut.

• I also recently shared a list of your very good layoff group chat names. A few favorites: The Fellowship of the RIF, The sales ladiessss, Xooglers, and No Crying in Contracts.

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